come play kaboodeedooles with me at my 'enchanted' playground :

[ theroyalmonkee.blogspot.com ]

such a betrayal to xangans, but the monkee needs a bigger playground!

hah.

-[Present]-

SCENARIO

Location: San Francisco Coffee House.

[Josh waits patiently for his drinks at the waiting bar.]

Girl Bartender:

Here's your lemon-lime splash.

Josh:

 Thank you!

Girl Bartender:

And here's your strawberry smooch. Without the whipped cream, right?

Josh:

Yeah. No ... whipped cream! Thank you!

[Girl Bartender checks on Josh top to bottom.]

Girl Bartender:

 I don't think you've got anything to worry about anyway.

[The mind suddenly went into complete stillness.]

Josh:

Awh. Hah. Okay. Hah.

[Speechless. Josh giddily (literally) hops away with a humongous smirk on his face.]

Compliments may not be such  a big-of-a-deal to you, but it does big time to me. so here ... *[middle finger] ... go suck on this motherf*cker!

This was me before - fat, doubtfully "cute", chubby chap, and even classified as a "Ribena-berry". Always shadowed by the good looks of the people I hung out with. Josh - the no-one, whose existence is never worth the second glance, and even if the second glance is given, it appears being unforgiving expressions.

I wasn't ugly. I know I wasn't. I was just characterless. There was absolutely nothing about me. Even 'interest' falls dead at the very sound of my name. Or maybe, maybe I just surpassed lowest low on undesirable physic compared to my more desirable blessed-with-good-looks friends.

[Don't you "Awwwww ... me! Its a little bit too late for your generous sympathy now! Hah. Go "Awwwww ...  someone else's shattered life!]

-[Past]-

SCENARIO

Location: McDonalds, Bintang Plaza

[Josh, Ben, Chuck and Marty munches their fries with their eyes feasting on any visible forms of female]

Marty:

Hey, check that one out!

Chuck:

 She's hot.

Marty:

Yeah, check out her friends!

 [All four nods in awe, agreeing.]

Marty:

Look, she's looking at us. They're looking at us.

Chuck:

 Of course they are. We're the handsome club.

Ben:

 Right.

[Josh turns his face away from the girl's direction and smile quietly to himself.]

[Marty giggles insultingly. Chuck smiles devilishly. Ben stares with ponder.]

Marty:

 Hey Josh! I'm sorry-ah. I'm sorry. I don't think they were checking you out.

[Marty and Chuck laughs mockingly. Ben looks away to another direction.]

Marty:

 I'm just kidding lah. Don't take it seriously.

[Josh smiles back, hurtfully.]

The character's names used in this scenario are not real to respect their rights to remain anonymous. The script has been translated into English to suite readers and may not be as exact as intended. Nevertheless, the plot still remains.

Was I painfully, badly, deeply hurt by such sarcastically, yet somewhat true remark? F*ck hell yeah! It hurt like *&@^#*$(#^@%@&#($)%*#&@%^@&$(%(#*&#&#. Only a superior being can comprehend such torment feeling.

But like I said, it wasn't because I was ugly. I was characterless. No personality of my own. Like a parasite, I cling to other people in attempt to be someone in a brutal society once ruled by exclusive untouchable cliques.

But eventually, I became this - present Josh.

If it wasn't for the harsh experiences through teen-hood, I dare not imagine the person I would become today. I sit on a level of content knowing that I took the hard way mending holes, setting a firm foundation and slowly, carefully building the home of self - a place, a space for knowledge, wisdom, emotions, experiences, etc.

And yeah, the apparently "exclusive untouchable cliques" I was referring to, now walks part of this journey with me. Hah.

A brutal society never fades away though. It still remains quietly unnoticed, surrounding us, but I ain't scared at `em mofos!

I wasn't born "Party-Josh", rather took me relentless passion living such lifestyle. I wasn't born "Funny-Josh", rather took all of me to courageously open my buried self. I wasn't born "Fun-Josh", rather took me great measures to unveil my hidden potential. I wasn't born like this - present Josh. Nor have I become the person, some people ought me to be, maybe not just yet. I survived self-discovery with a driven faith, I survived growing up and out with a persistent passion but I am still in unyielding hope, that one day, in due course ill burst in revelation to the like of an eternal supernova.

I had the hard way baby! Had it and took it. Outlived stages of hell. It's the hard way, and the easy has seldom been an option, or has it ever?

And oh, turns out, that society reject "Ugly duckling" is a Swan after all. A f*ckin beautiful one. Hah.

Y`all who ever deny my very existence in the past, and now are falling on your knees at my very presence ... F*CK YOU DEEP! DEEP! ... You ain't getting any of me SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETS!!!!

[Right, I may have gotten a little bit carried away there ...]

Uhuh ... uhuh ... [doing the monkee dance] ... can't stop the dancing monkee now can you!! Hah.

The joy of being a narcissist.

Always in a euphoric state at the image of self.

Don't go hating on me now ...

Envy's a deadly sin ...

I shall leave you with rather "motivating" few words ... "TRY SURPASSING ME AS*HOLE!"

Hah. [*ptuih!*]

Hah. I'll be sucking my own d*ck when that happens!

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTS.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the vainest of them all?"

WARNING

THE CONTENT BELOW MAY APPEAR OFFENSIVE. READ AT OWN RISK.

a children's story book in germany

[this was from a forwarded email - main resource unknown]

did you ever ask your parents where you came from when you were a kid?

cause i've never. as far as i can recall, never. i dont think so, never. hah. even if i did ask, i dont think my parents will be able to answer. asians. hah. thats just the way our parent's generation are aint it? im not insulting, but thats just the way it is. come to think of it,  i dont think you want answers from your parents anyway, because THEY ARE YOUR PARENTS! hah. mom and dad talking about having sex to have you? haha. that's SO WRONG!

but  how am i going to explain to my kids when i have my own? because i bet my kids gonna ask me hell damn alot of questions! haha.

but im not parental-ready right now ...

ill worry later ...

Josh

a day at the beach[with  brenton, tingang, ollie, kuin, agan, jill, ita, sarah + kedung]

here's how we spent our gawai celebration (01.06.06) ...

^ our spot

> i FOUND this spot! hah. im taking the credit.

^ the big red bucket of beers

> oranjeboom beers ... now that's a true kelabit-style gawai! hah.

^ jellyfish hunting

> we did. we could'nt swim because apparently its jellyfish season and they were ALOT of them around - stranded on the beach dead (GHAHAHAA) and happily "floating" in the water, so we thought it'd be fun getting as many of them off the water! hah.

^ "warriors" of the beach

> our hunting tools - the ones we're holding! hah. haha. hahaha.

^ some jumping game

> we've been trying to figure out the name of this game, no luck just yet! if you know, tell me!

^ jellyfish hunters

> back from the wild! hah. with the little catch.

^ jellyfish HUNTED!

> we caught 3 of these motherfuckers! hah. they're not easy to catch. when you're busy concentrating catching one, another comes from behind! HAH.they're smart these mofos! no one got stung. at least not until ... [next pic]

^ the gang -1

> here. ollie got stung! on the foot. hah. none of us had a full bladder, so we poured beer on his feet instead.

^

> self-explainatory.

ATTENTION PRO-ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS :

only 3 little jellyfishes were harmed during our hunt. we didn't kill them per se, only "accidently" left them on the beach under the HOT HOT sun. but i am sure that it wasn't a terrible suffering death, because they weren't any signs indicating so. haha. although, one human got stung. 3 of their lives for a painful sting, lets just say we got even. hah.

it's a PARTY life (Part 2)

it's been 40 or so hours of no sleep. personal record was 60 hours. your sleep is vital. please don't try doing this at home.

last night (saturday) was my fourth night in a row im out clubbing. personal record was five nights in a row.

average weight lost - 0.2kg/day (based on the past 4 days). personal record not recorded but, 2005 alone saw a loss of 9kg.

waist dropped from a size 35 to a 33.

i havent had a weekend off partying or clubbing or raving since mid-march 2005.

i am out partying on an average of 2.5 nights a week.

32 hours straight is the personal record for not being sober. i was "high" the whole time.

it will take me at least 1 day to recover from the weekend's partying.

my choice of drinks consist of vodka and beer.

60+ hours was the longest i went without eating. anything. i survived on drinks.

in adelaide, i take on average 1 proper meal (a choice of indomee or congee) a day, just to save up enough money for the weekend.

19 hours is probably the longest span of time i partied non-stop.

1.5 is the average pack of ciggies i smoke when i am out partying.

stoom-trio : inghui + ollie + josh

Josh